"Well at least my family isn't full of drunk Prairieniggers you filthy redskin."
"Go away this doesn't include ugly squaws."
"Aww, does that Indian man in the stew pot make you wanna cry?" (In response to me being upset over a Spirit ribbon caricature of an AI man being in a pot with "Stew the Indians" emblazoned on the top)
Some of my classmates said those things to me and I never told anyone while it was going on. I had heard my parents talks of prejudice when they where growing up and comparatively my trials seemed small. I even thought about my ancestors trials, what where some words compared to the shackles and blood they got left wearing?
Once, in the fourth grade I had enough. It was the last day of school and I was so happy. My woods full of quail and blackberries called to me. We had a party and I had brought strawberry Kool-aid. I loved strawberries, my grandfather raised them in the hilly earth near Tahlequah. Most of my classmates had drank it, there was a cup or two left. I went to pour it out on the playground so it didn't spill out and stain my clothes on the bus ride home. My brother was there getting a last swing in.
"Hey look it's your sister bringing a red drink for you redskins!" one boy cried out and another laughed beside him.
I knew they were my brothers classmates. I guess I had had enough. I didn't care that mom and dad told us not to be into any trouble. It pained my soul that my little brother was getting picked on. I pulled the cellophane off the pitcher and flung the red liquid at them both. Then I let it drop from my fingers. They started running away. Thankfully, my brother grabbed my arm and didn't let me go after them.
"Come on let's just get on the bus," he said.
It's been a long bus ride of silence for me. I also feel it's one that is full of quite American Indian children. All of us taught to Be proud of your people -Be quite or they will make you regret it - Better speak better English than they do or you will never hear the end of it - Get educated and study harder than others or you'll be dumb - You cause trouble and you'll get trouble back -Don't you forget (that phrase held a lot of meaning)
I don't know if it's time for American society to handle vocal many nationed voice of Indigenous people, but it is time for us to break the code of silence we grew up with. It's time for us to speak and be heard. Our communities are bigger and stronger. We can no longer be raided and imprisoned and children stolen and murdered without the knowledge spread on the internet.
It is time for us as peoples to know courage once more and yes fear will be with us but so will hope.
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