Blessed Hearts

It's hard to believe that the same person writing this now was the same person writing a few weeks ago. Right now, I feel like I am a different person than I was before murder, death, and dying touched every branch of my family. I have been faced with losing multiple people in a space of a few weeks. Even now we wait for another call bringing news of death. So far 2015 is visiting trauma, grief, and sorrow on every person I hold dear. Every minute before mid-January in life seems very far away. Everyone deals with death in their own way.  We become people foreign to ourselves emotionally for awhile, however long that might be. 

Do we feel like the same people as before? I don't know.

Usually, I pour the heaviest thoughts I have out on paper and share some of it for the dissection of others. However, I find myself writing this now and not wanting to write about grief at all. Instead, I want to write about something else that has recently touched me just as deeply as grief - kindness. While I want grief to fade away until it isn't so raw or monumental feeling anymore, I want the kindness to stay. 

Kindness shines out a trail of brilliant stars against the dark fabric life can feel like sometimes. Kind acts light a way back to feeling human again. It is a hug, or a bunch. It is plate of food fixed for you when you don't have the appetite to fix one for yourself. Kindness is the spice that makes food palatable. Kindness is the time someone takes to help you find a number to call for a funeral arrangement. Kindness is prayers said for your family when no one is there to hear it, but The Great Spirit. Kindness is the prayers publicly spoken just for your family. Kindness is helping you feel okay smiling again by giving you encouragement and support.

Kindness came to me today inside a jewelry box shipped from Taos Pueblo. Inside the box was a unique item literally giving me the strength to write. Wings and Aji of NDN Silver by Wings gifted me a special "The Warrior Woman" pin because they wanted me to have a tangible item of support. They sent one to my good friend Jackie Keeler for the same reason. My pin, by some fluke of destiny, made the trip from Taos, NM to Claremore, OK twice before making it to me. I think the first trip was a pilgrimage meant to bring strength in the continued fight to honor our ancestors and protect our children. I think the second trip was a pilgrimage meant to bring me a little extra strength and power to continue on. I feel truly blessed by it. I cried, but not tears brought on by feeling so much grief around me and in me. I cried because of the blessing kindness is and because it is being given by so many people.

Wado (thank you in Cherokee) to all of you 

The Warrior Woman* Authentically designed by Wings* Tiwa Tribal Member* Taos Pueblo

This piece made out of sterling silver is designed to honor women. The symbols on the Warrior Woman are sacred and healing to oneself. The rabbit head represents femininity. The Warrior Woman has a ceremonial necklace, bracelets, and regalia (dress), The hand is known for healing. She has a heart and breasts symbolizing life. The serpent (snake) is for longevity, wealth and health. Copyright 1998 Wings.